On My Bookshelf...

How did we get here? Why are we here? Is life fair-- or could it be? How long have humans been asking these questions? If we find answers, how can we relate such ineffable answers to each other?

I turn to books for hope-- hope for the secret curiosities in me that I cannot articulate any longer for their complexity. But some authors, older and younger than I, have found their own ways to explain and test the mysteries of the inner life, the ancient, and the interpersonal ether.

I was thirteen when I found Frank Laubach's Letters by a Modern Mystic in a library basement in Fort Worth, Texas-- and soon, Soul Searching by 16-year-old author Sarah Stillman.

 With acceptance of different mystical paths, I found writing to be part of my path. My goal was to get published by the time I was sixteen.

 Once I had met this goal, the poetry anthology and high school yearbooks that printed my words sat on the bookshelf gathering dust. I continue sharing poetry and local news articles in small publications, for the importance of awareness and the joy of recognition and mutual appreciation. But public expression of my thoughts hasn’t answered any questions—it’s just brought forth new ones.

  Can anything said be original? Are popular printed words adding to the world’s collective knowing—or taking away from the creative possibilities that writers could have, in their future struggles to be original? Why is groupthink considered bad and the collective unconscious considered benign?

 The logical urgency of my conscience compelled me to dive into news, and that's what I read, except in the spare minutes between stresses and sleep when I still reach for the spiritual memoirs and manuals.

 If reading my palm has provided any real insight at all, I know that the spiritual dimension will save my life one day. The hope that glimmers just beyond the next page turn is for more than that-- more than a long, healthy life. There is hope for all the lives past, present and future, united in some elusive way... that only stories can get at. The stories that make you feel, question, remember…

 I believe in planting small, private libraries in unexpected places, ruled by curiosity and the honor system. So my collection of pensive memoirs and helpful how-tos on everything from intuition to ecstasy has dispersed-- it's among the donated books in the Augsburg College Women's Resource Center, the Minnesota Indian Women's Resource Center, the Germanic-American Institute's little library, a friend's SoulHome lending library, and Little Free Libraries around the city.

  Maybe someone else, thirteen, uncertain and far from home, will stumble upon a new perspective that they've needed.

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I recommend 

I Love Female Orgasm by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller

My Life So Far by Jane Fonda

Memoirs of a Spiritual Outsider by Suzanne Clores

The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy by Cyndi Dale

Energy Medicine by Donna Eden